Closing The Deal (Christian Middle Church): The Rite of Passage for Single Women Who Do It Alone

Updated: Jun 30, 2019

Hi All!

It's time to get back to some teaching with Christian Middle Church. Today in some areas, families are celebrating Father's Day. In my life, I am celebrating Single Women's Day for those women who don't have fathers in their life, don't have husbands, and don't have a huge support network. Of course, there was some resistance when folks found out that I wasn't enabling men to act badly just because it was coming up to Father's Day. I just couldn't bless it after the kinds of experiences that single women who do it alone and women in general are often experiencing due to deep seated patriarchal views. It's 2019 and I'm surprised that we are still dealing with this in our culture. So, I've just made a point that this is the point of no return and that women like me are simply not going back to that abuse, neglect, harm, discrimination, and gaslighting. Things are going to change for the better for us. So, I committed to a teaching. Here goes.

My whole goal here is to be supportive of the equality viewpoint and push inclusion even more into supporting mature single women who do life on their own. Diversity is simply not just about race, religion, and sexuality. It's about gender, status, age, and single verses married as well. We need to break down more barriers and stare at the difficulties of why changes are not happening on a deeper level.

When I finally sat down for this teaching tonight, I found a great piece of scripture within 2 minutes. All I had to do was google "Closing the Deal," "women," and "scripture," and this most amazing scripture in Proverbs came up. This is something you won't hear in a patriarchal church and yet the bible really has some really JUICY scripture to tackle and believe it or not, it's not all patriarchal in nature. The bible is not always what you think it is. If you look close and dig in, women can find the most amazing scripture to support your life, and this piece is pretty in your face about what it means to listen to a wise woman.

Here it is: Proverbs 1:8-33

"Pay close attention, friend, to what your father tells you; never forget what you learned at your mother's knee. Wear their counsel like flowers in your hair, like rings on your fingers. Dear friend, if bad companions tempt you, don't go along with them. 11If they say - "Let's go out and raise some hell. Let's beat up some old man, mug some old woman. Let's pick them clean and get them ready for their funerals. We'll load up on top-quality loot. We'll haul it home by the truckload. Join us for the time of your life! With us, it's share and share alike!" Oh, friend, don't give them a second look; don't listen to them for a minute. They're racing to a very bad end, hurrying to ruin everything they lay hands on. Nobody robs a bank with everyone watching, Yet that's what these people are doing - they're doing themselves in. When you grab all you can get, that's what happens: the more you get, the less you are.

Lady Wisdom goes out in the street and shouts. At the town center she makes her speech. In the middle of the traffic she takes her stand. At the busiest corner she calls out: "Simpletons! How long will you wallow in ignorance? Cynics! How long will you feed your cynicism? Idiots! How long will you refuse to learn? About face! I can revise your life. Look, I'm ready to pour out my spirit on you; I'm ready to tell you all I know. As it is, I've called, but you've turned a deaf ear; I've reached out to you, but you've ignored me.

"Since you laugh at my counsel and make a joke of my advice, How can I take you seriously? I'll turn the tables and joke about your troubles! What if the roof falls in, and your whole life goes to pieces? What if catastrophe strikes and there's nothing to show for your life but rubble and ashes? You'll need me then. You'll call for me, but don't expect an answer. No matter how hard you look, you won't find me.

"Because you hated Knowledge and had nothing to do with the Fear-of-God, Because you wouldn't take my advice and brushed aside all my offers to train you, Well, you've made your bed - now lie in it; you wanted your own way - now, how do you like it? Don't you see what happens, you simpletons, you idiots? Carelessness kills; complacency is murder. First pay attention to me, and then relax. Now you can take it easy - you're in good hands."

As I go through this series, it will be more about carving and paving a path for women like me and closing deals on making God BIGGER. God has always been part of my life but my God looks different that the God in patriarchal churches. I simply see a bigger and better God, and it's important that women like me not go backwards. It's imperative that the strides and the work we've accomplished not be disregarded and that we continue to move forward. In many ways that means that either communities and environments change or we simply have to make choices for our thriving that support moving forward with a really BIG GOD.

This teaching series has the following elements:

Part 1: The Rite of Passage--Listening to Wise Women

Part 2: We're Not Going Back: Transforming a Broken Culture

Part 3: The Blessing of the Matriarchal Church

Part 4: The Impact of Single Women in Today's Culture: Opportunities, Elevation, Blessing

PART 2: We're Not Going Back--Transforming A Broken Culture

As I came up to this second week of teaching, I was visiting Seattle to teach a yoga class with another single woman. Then an Indian man came up and began staring at us for longer than normal, and after awhile this was becoming very uncomfortable. This doesn't really have to do with race, this has more to do with the idea that even after the last few years of #TimesUp #MeToo and the #SilenceBreakers, that there are still men who are not understanding how to be apart of what it means to help women feel safe. The political season is now ripe again, and while I am very very thankful for this not being 2016 again, we are still as women, especially single women, experiencing too much in the way of discrimination, lack of safety, manipulation, and disrespect,

These days, I've been so very grateful to meet more people my age who really get it. We somehow learned through honest and integrity ways how to do more of the right thing. There's a subset of women and men who are like me in that way in that we really REALLY care about how we move forward in life and we care that things are done the right way.

That brings us back to Closing the Deal and this next element of clearing this deep sin of discrimination and harm done to single women who do it alone and to women in general. I share and talk about the following scripture and come back to last week's scripture to emphasize the very important fact that the bible supports a female, yes FEMALE Christ. There are two. It took me awhile to see the connections in the bible, but because I was seeking and searching and I wanted to learn more, I continue to stumble upon lost scripture that supports this. It could easily be that Mother Mary is the first Christ and Jesus Christ is the second Christ, but it is a sure thing that God fiercely poured the Holy Spirit into both the female and male equally. The following scripture helps to support how God views women, and quite possibly single women, in the eyes of worth:

Numbers 27:1-8

"The daughters of Zelophehad son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Makir, the son of Manasseh, belonged to the clans of Manasseh son of Joseph. The names of the daughters were Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milkah and Tirzah. They came forward and stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders and the whole assembly at the entrance to the tent of meeting and said,  “Our father died in the wilderness. He was not among Korah’s followers, who banded together against the Lord, but he died for his own sin and left no sons.  Why should our father’s name disappear from his clan because he had no son? Give us property among our father’s relatives.”

So Moses brought their case before the Lord,  and the Lord said to him,  “What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and give their father’s inheritance to them.

“Say to the Israelites, ‘If a man dies and leaves no son, give his inheritance to his daughter.

PART 3: The Blessing of the Matriarchal Church

This was a very special talk to share and it's relatively short, so you'll be happy to know you can get through this video in about 15 minutes. If I'm going to go forth to bless the matriarchal church, it's important to get in touch with God the Mother, and what has created us as human beings. I was able to talk to my mom on Saturday after 1.5 years of just texting or emailing each other, which as many of you know, is not enough for a true relationship to thrive, especially between mother and daughter. I took some time to address this with my mom around Mother's Day, which was hard for us both, but better for us both. As single women who do it alone, we understand each others lives better than any other, and it was really important to me that I better the relationship with my mom. I could feel that. I needed that. It was a key that was missing and I didn't want her to be influenced by the corruption of the world that was pulling us apart. I was thankful that God brought her to me in a talk for 4-5 hours (our typical length of talk) in such a respectful, honoring, and vulnerable way so that we could start to get back to really healing and talking about the things we stuff in to be strong, to get through, and to survive. For women like us, it's hard. Really hard. I can't begin to tell you how strong you have to be. So, to talk with my mom in this way was a true blessing. I hope you'll listen. Here are the scriptures that guided this Holy Spirit teaching:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares God,

"Plans to prosper you,

"Plans to give you Hope and A Future."

~Jeremiah 29:11

"I will bless those who bless you." ~Genesis 12:3

Listen to this song "So Will I" as if God the Mother were speaking the words....we must have the courage to heal this land, and She can help us.


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