A BETTER MAN: A Father's Day teaching (Christian Middle Church)

Updated: Jun 23, 2018

Hi All!

I haven’t dug into a really good Christian Middle Church teaching in awhile, but it’s time. I had “A Better Man” slated for a Father’s Day teaching but then I made last minute plans to attend a neonatal resuscitation class along with other commitments, so this one had to wait. I will be telling you all about my new birth assistant services soon, but let’s talk about men, spiritual men, fathers, feminist men, toxic masculinity, God, and “A Better Man.”

Father’s Day was relatively quiet for me, other than teaching yoga, so it was a good recuperation time that I needed. The good thing about teaching this year with Christian Middle Church is that I made the commitment that I would not teach as much unless I was getting paid to do it or specifically called to do it. I was specifically called to do this teaching, it was just a matter of timing.

Every weekend here in Sammamish, the religious energy on the weekends is pretty intense and competitive between the churches in town, and since the election, that hasn’t particularly gotten better. There are some pastors in town who like to antagonize each other and members of their congregation, so sometimes the weekends are just as stressful as the weekdays. As I’ve walked away from the continuous political world of church, the memories get quieter, but our culture is still present with or without the church.

These days, you can tell the difference between what God breeds and what the church breeds, and these days, there is a difference. This difference requires discernment and space. There are quite a few competitive men in the religious world, which is not surprising considering the church business model, but my goals are not essentially to compete with it. There is a way to connect without being a dominant sales person or being political. My business model is very different, so I’ve chosen to be very selective with self care in how I share my Holy Spirit energy.

As Father’s Day was drawing closer and closer, it was getting clear that men might take themselves out on their own holiday. There was so much anticipation to get their day. So, while my energy was getting stretched wide and far with travel and commitments, I surrendered to the fact that maybe men just didn’t want a woman talking on Father’s Day. I could feel that I just wasn't going to get this teaching done. I also got the sense that they wanted to explain themselves if they were on stage, but that men in the community, instead, were pretty normal.

I somehow sensed that if I just didn’t think about church too much, that if I just went about my day as if it were normal, that I could just recoup and receive. I didn't need to do too much, and that would be better for me. To me, I wanted to celebrate the part of God that is a father for me, who has lifted me when I needed it. It was important to pay attention less to the ego show, and more to God’s show. God was in the small actions. I did have to laugh since the religious world told women on Mother’s Day that they “need help,” and I was convinced that was calling me to speak on Father’s Day. I laugh again, and think, “Yes, we COULD use your help!” I had a completely humorous teaching planned, but then real life called me to talk about something a bit deeper and it was going to take time to develop and sort it. So, let’s begin!

A Better Man

“A Better Man” is really getting to the reality of the culture we live in today, one in which we still manage many patriarchal viewpoints and energies while still seeking to emerge a more feminine (listening) balance and equality. You’ve heard me talk about my approach to Christian Middle Church. It’s specifically focused on a feminine (listening), female (as a balance to the male), Holy Spirit (God’s essence), and the equality viewpoint (versus the patriarchal viewpoint). It is specifically designed to break down the “old christianity” and bring forth the “new Christianity,” and by doing that, we truly understand that the old saw God small, and the new sees God as exceptionally BIG. You can’t get that through the traditional and religious ways that christian church has been approached before, because it contains a level of stubbornness, rigidity, and structures that don’t fit what Christ was about, and what God has revealed to us.

The christian church isn’t a safe place anymore, and our culture now reflects the toxic masculinity that the patriarchal church instilled. We are now combatting that. Quite honestly, at this point, you may get more of your connection with God outside the church rather than in it, which is why my business model is different.

I told you previously that I started Christian Middle Church essentially out of necessity, not because I was looking to start a church. The church in town that I belonged to for four years thought I was a heretic and asked me not to come back. I spoke up relatively from the beginning, I was a whistle blower, and I made safety important. The real reason why most that happened though had more to do with marriage insecurity, immaturity, not checking out facts, and toxic masculinity in the church. Single women were vulnerable.

Anyone who saw God as pretty big and understood a deeper Christ and God were targeted. It didn’t make sense since the church is essentially the place to ask questions and grow together, but the incorrect religion of the church was portraying a rigid structure that wasn’t testing their own beliefs. Their own beliefs were so out of line with God that if you took any rationale view, you could see that they were breaking the law—God’s law and civil law. Then people, businesses, and anyone who followed these churches were tangled up in their messes and committing the same messes. It was authoritarian, discriminative, manipulative, and harmful. When the outcome of the last election occurred, the christian church began to emulate the new government, so it was easy to see the incorrect and harmful influence. Backtracking has occurred, but forgiveness is not enough. Considerable damage has occurred, so it’s important that the next steps are God centered.

What we see in our culture today is exactly what was happening in the church here when I started out in it in 2013 . I also saw flavors of it in church when I lived in Arizona as well, so I suspect this church culture has been around a very long time. There was quite a bit of bullying, manipulation, politics, and desire for power. There is a great need to believe the way they do, regardless of if that truly matches up with God’s design. That’s where the trouble started. There is a separation between church and God, and I could feel it. Too many bad things were happening. Too many assumptions were being made. Actions were taken without finding out facts, and it was starting to get illegal, harmful, and hurtful in ways that you can’t just say that forgiveness is enough.

I have spoken up enough in honesty to begin to shed some light on what is really happening versus the pretty picture of what is happening. The time it is taking for corrections to happen is long and exhausting, however, especially for the women who have experienced it. The behaviors and actions changed lives, left imprints, created such levels of post traumatic stress, and created physical harm that simply couldn’t be justified only by forgiveness. Corrective action has to happen, and I am not clear that remediated pastors are the answer.

These people don’t change overnight and they are responsible for the harmful culture and attacks that people like me as a single woman had to endure. It was a certain darkness that created setbacks for women, cost money and harm. I was more vulnerable because I had just moved, didn’t have a support system yet, and was building from ground zero. Stress was high. I had to sort out significantly on my own. My story is shared with the intent to help others who feel alone, to show why vulnerable people are susceptible to “church culture,” but also why there is a greater need to reach into your community, where our spiritual God is, to create a safer and more rational ground away from harmful religious practices.

If you have ever experienced what I experienced, I don’t want you to feel alone. These changes left impacts based on how the old christian church did things. Many submissive men and women contributed to cult behavior that harmed other human beings. Speaking up created another level of stress because you have to be heard and believed before anything can be done. At one point, I was stalked so seriously that I had the police involved, and I was thankful that the police took me seriously. This cult is serious and harmful and it’s breeding from the patriarchal church, from authoritarian ways of doing things, and from toxic masculinity.

It’s hard to break down the walls, and it can leave you paralyzed with fear, but as you tell the truth and more people believe, then you can widen your level of safety. There is no reason for you to live, work, or be in relationships where you do not feel safe. Speaking up and claiming that right is yours.

Some of these detrimental impacts you can’t erase, others have taken considerable time to heal. It was based on how a group of men did things, or how a group of married people did things to preserve their way of life. It was based more on cult behavior and authoritarian ways. I didn’t agree with it. I found it unhealthy and untruthful. I wanted it to change. I did my part. Eventually, for my own safety, I had to leave the patriarchal church, and stand up more when these kinds of men cost me money, tried to derail my career, tried to harm me, or discriminated against single women.

I tried other churches, and nothing much changed because there is still a pretty good stronghold on patriarchal ways of doing things. We have not gotten to the tipping point yet, but we will. The church culture is similar from church to church, because the model is similar. In my community, the church culture banded together at one point, so it’s essentially you against their culture. Sin is everywhere, but there was a point where I knew I couldn't combat this on my own. Other people had to see it and speak up too. It wouldn't change until more people spoke up to make it better. Soon enough, more people did. Many more people saw what I saw, both men and women, both young and old. It didn't erase the fact though that the church had not changed in its structure. God seemed to be calling me to do the thing I needed to see. I waited, I searched, and then, I took a giant leap and started Christian Middle Church. It was God’s response.

Father's Day

If you’ve followed my path in 2017 and into 2018, you’ve heard the story. I am a woman owned church in a patriarchal church community. There is much work to do. So, let’s get back to Father’s Day. Some of you might know from last year that Father’s Day is a harder holiday for me. My father is not in my life, by his choice. I experienced quite a few years of heartbreak in the letting go process to heal a very deep place in my heart where my father was supposed to be. That trigger popped up nearly every time where a father was supposed to show up, but didn’t.

I had gotten along in my life for 20 years without my father after he left when I was 7 years old, and was grateful to have him back again, but then he left again when life got real for me. So, I learned that I had to let go. This inconsistency simply wasn't what I needed in a father. There was a certain capacity there and when reached, my father couldn’t be involved. The grief process over that has been hard and it still hits me now and then. Father’s Day is one of those times.

Then, I dated men who didn’t show up or had a great habit of abandonment, not listening, manipulating, or not doing the work to be in the relationship. It was wasting my time, that precious time where I could be in a relationship that was favored for us both. Instead, that trigger would be hit again and again, because a good man would choose to show up making lower soul choices. My soul had matured across levels, but my heart was still in the picture, so if I meet a higher soul (one who has evolved) but had to deal with lower soul behavior (usually associated with fear), I try to help close the gap and how it was affecting me.

I would work on this deeper level of abandonment and manipulation every time a man who touched me on a heart level would leave or treat me badly. I had done so much on my own in life, but this one area of my life was tough in finding answers. The culture of men was tough. Church had done nothing really to shape men to be better. If you met a good man, you were blessed and lucky. Sometimes, when things didn't work out, it was easier because I wasn’t too attached. Sometimes, the experience would break my heart into a thousand pieces, leaving me in a pile on floor, crying, broken, sad, alone, scared as hell, and putting myself back together again.

I was heartbroken that it could happen with the good men too, that they were just as susceptible to the Satan force. Sometimes those men hurt me on physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. Some of those men would commit crimes and then get promotions or carry on in life as if nothing happened. Sometimes, the putting back together phase took years because something was taken from me that I had to work to get back.

All of this teaches you not to take a man seriously until they do the work. It teaches you to be grateful every time a man shows up to do something kind. It teaches you in a culture like this how vitally important it is that you speak up. There are men out there who hurt women, knowingly and intentionally, and that is not to be rewarded in our culture. We made a mistake when we rewarded it in the election, so it's important that we undo the mistake. Good men are so rare that you might forget what they look like if you don’t see one now and then. My goal is to play a part in creating more of them.

So, as I arrived to Father’s Day 2018, I had to admit to myself that I was still in, still am in healing. It’s a tender holiday, and a tender time. The man I love is states away, and we’ve struggled to find a connection as I began to notice cult behaviors seeping in and turning him into a man that was far away from the man I met. To me, the man I met was Superman. Beautiful inside and out. Good and grounded, perfect for me. I was working to get perfect for him. God just walked him in when I didn’t expect it. It was divine and perfect. It was good.

Then, life got more stressful, and stress changed how we related. I saw him change into a more skeptical and angry man. I saw him become vulnerable to politics when he wasn’t before. I saw him act like men of my past when I was aching to know the man I had met. I was angry with Satan for all of the distraction and manipulating tactics. Could Satan really be this big? This man was goodness. Maybe that’s why he was so vulnerable. I needed God bigger. Hope is not lost, God is not lost in it, but of all relationships, it was a critical one at a critical time. I needed him to pay attention. God walked him into my life. I knew he was the one the minute I met him. So, when we were in these tough patches, in the real life patches, all I wanted to do was fix it. This man made me feel better. Then, it changed, and then I didn't feel better.

I continued to work on myself, because meeting him accelerated and motivated me. I hoped that the outside forces keeping us apart would just subside. I knew what was happening, I knew what was happening to myself. All I wanted to do was fix these horrible ways that men acted in, and fix it before it hurt or was harmful. I wanted to fix the unnecessary power struggle but without neediness and desperation. I wanted God bigger. I needed God bigger. For me. For him. For any “us” that could happen. For the baggage in the way. How could it be that you could love someone so much and that person become something that could hurt you if the behavior didn’t change?

I wondered why men needed this much control or desire to be on top or in competition with women. It didn’t make sense. I became frustrated and angry at the men he acted like from my past, as if I wanted those reminders of pain again after the first time through. I remembered all the work I put into past relationships, and there were reasons why they didn’t work, but it wasn’t about my lack of effort or heart. Yet, again, those memories and experiences came rushing back, as if I hadn’t suffered enough the first time.

Every time, I understood Christ’s pain more and more. I understood the deep brokenness of our culture. I realized how strong I had made myself to survive because I had to function, I had to get through. When I was vulnerable and my body was weak, it was that much more painful. I had no choice but to feel everything. Everything I had survived and lived through. All of the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical abuse of the past. Anything I hadn’t healed in the past was hitting me full force in the healing here.

I remembered while I was deep in the flu while everything was hitting that I was just trying to focus on my breathing. That’s it. It was that deep. Never mind anything before. I just needed to breathe. For hours and days, I just had to focus. I had no other choice. My life was important, and the outside stress was not. The outside world was manipulating, playing games, but my life was serious and immediate.

I didn’t have any further tolerance so I began to state exactly how serious it was to those who were playing games. I wanted to understand their role in how serious it gets when you play games. I already knew, but it was clear that others did not. All of the work I was doing to protect myself from the cult behaviors in my community I couldn’t focus on anymore. I had to feel their hate while I was feeling my breath. No, it wasn’t enjoyable. The only constellation prize I had was that I had a reasonable understanding of who was responsible and I knew that God would intervene.

Practically though, I remembered, before I went to sleep, that I knew I needed more water. I knew that was a factor in how I was feeling, but my body was in pain. It was one of those times that living alone was not exciting but even when I was living with someone, I had moments when a housemate literally laughed at me in pain with a kidney stone. That is the culture I live in. It is seriously that toxic that people don’t get it when something serious is happening. Nevertheless, I knew I had to take care of myself. It was late, but I couldn’t risk going to sleep though without water and nourishment. I made the painful trip to the store to get some. I wasn’t feeling right. It was not a good set of moments but I was close to what I needed and had almost bought the water and protein drinks I needed to get more nourishment in.

At the cash register, I felt the wave of death come. I suddenly and seriously felt that it was the end. It was a very dark wave of energy. I thought this was going to be how it was to end. I was breathing deep, trying to stay in the moment. I literally felt the wave of death coming. I said no. I waved it away. I felt the energy of the person who was responsible before I passed out. It went dark. Thankfully, God woke me up. I was in the hands of people who had literally saved me and were nurturing me back to health. An EMT just happened to be behind me in line. I had just seen him moments before. He caught me and told me that I would have hit my head on the way down if he hadn’t caught me. At this point, it was a group of men all around me, and I couldn’t stand. I could talk but I couldn’t stand. So, I was being sent to the hospital in an ambulance.

I remember the long deep cry in the hospital when everyone had left after EKGs, IVs, saline, influenza tests, and serious questions were asked. When I woke up after passing out in the grocery store, I was told my blood pressure was at 70/?. Normal is 120/80. The EMT couldn’t get the bottom number. I did smile a little later (only because I know quite a bit about medicine) and tell the EMT that he should probably take the pressurized BP cuff off my arm since it was blue. I had surrendered to receiving at that point, so I was just noticing my environment and making sure no other damage had been done or would be done. I think it shook them up, and I still laugh that they wouldn’t let me have the water or protein drink that would have likely prevented this whole show. I was less than a minute away from opening the bottle, so I think that God knew I was making an effort.

That was a humorous point in this really serious experience where life could have just been done. I knew that. It was that serious. Right there. It wasn’t though, and I also didn’t say it would be. I didn’t ask to leave, even with the hard experiences I was having, the dangerous cult in my community, the high level of politics, and the high level of stress. Outside all of that, there were these beautiful people who just walked into my life to make it beautiful again. Satan, be damned. I just knew my body had a road ahead to get well, and I had to commit to it. There were doctors and more doctors, tests and more tests, explorative surgical procedures, and enough fear to fill up a good lifetime.

I did know that there would be consequences though for those who played a part in this level of stress because I had caught the signs, I had spoken up, I had done something. It couldn’t be done this way anymore. The culture had to change. I had played a role in it getting better, but it was time for evil to be caught. It was time for my story to be told. I knew I wasn’t alone. I was just staying silent too long. I had felt the energy of the responsible party before passing out, and I reasoned with myself that I really didn’t want to be on the other side knowing this person or group of people were the ones responsible and not live to tell about it. The sad part of it was that it was a man, or a group of men in authoritarian and power roles trying to scare women rather than help them. God is in charge of dealing with them. I am sure of it.

This experience essentially got me to the men and people who wanted to help me rather than harm me. This wasn’t the first time I experienced this level of hate, so I knew that God had serious work to do. God brought me back to life with a new level of discernment, a wiser voice, and better navigation tools. Telling the blunt truth was one of those tools. With Christ, they beat and beat him, and the “ah-ha” moment came long after the damage could be repaired. In fact, he also didn’t choose for life to be done. So, I wouldn’t call any of this drama. As a culture, it’s time to listen. This is really what is happening in life, to women, to single women, and what it is like dealing with it.

My Father

As I was coming into this Father’s Day, I wondered about my own father, whom I haven’t spoken to since 2010. I reached out to connect in writing at Christmas and haven’t heard back even though he knows where I live and how to contact me. There is always a certain wondering of if he is alive still, if he wonders about me as his daughter, but I don’t make it part of my identity anymore. I don’t take any more steps believing I did something wrong to create that relationship with my father. He chose it. So, it was a deep story I needed to let go of: That I deserved to be abandoned, left, hated, or that I didn’t deserve the effort of being in a relationship. I didn’t deserve those things, but I did need to get rid of the energy that was swirling in my world to make me believe I did. It wasn’t mine, it wasn’t me, it didn’t belong to me, and it wasn’t of God. It is a powerful energy, but it’s not of God.

I was feeling responsible for choices that men made, when I wasn’t responsible for them. I am always convinced that when a relationship reaches a level of spiritual maturity that is healthy for both sides, then both sides do the work to be involved. When there is spiritual maturity, the distance between you and God is less. Triggers are still present, especially if you are invested in someone, if you love someone, but to believe that you deserve to be abandoned, alone, neglected, uncared for, unloved, hated, abused, raped, or killed is not God’s story. So, it’s important to break down the Satan in the storyline.

So, I wondered what to do with a father who, again, let go of two daughters in favor of the family that was closest and more convenient to him. He is not a “reach out” kind of guy. You have to do the work, but at one point, I really had to value myself and say, “Well, he needs to do the work.” I didn’t want to marry a man who considered this the right way to treat a woman or his daughter, so it was important to me that I not attract a man who didn’t want to commit to the effort. When men do the work, the distance between you and God is less, and we need more God (love), less Satan (hate).

Essentially, my heart struggled for tolerance for a holiday that was for someone else. I wasn’t able to celebrate with the man I loved or my father. As women, we are having a hell of a time in a culture that cultivates toxic masculinity as a positive trait so Father’s Day can seem like a show for some. That said, I mustered the energy to celebrate for the good that men have done, for the men who are helping to move good character forward.

A Show verses The Authentic Experience

So, “A Better Man” is personal to me. It’s my attempt to tell a true story, but also to tell the story of so many women out there that arrived to Father’s Day barely tolerating the idea of it for so many intimate reasons. The beautiful thing of this holiday is that it’s for those good authentic guys, those good men that worked for it, those men who put themselves in the story to build themselves and their children up as someone to count on. For them, this holiday matters. It mattered, it was sacred, it was honest, it was funny, it was playful, it was restful, it was renewing, it was good.

I sometimes worry that we use Mother’s and Father’s Day as holidays of anticipation. We create the holidays around cultural standards rather than what is really true. If you remember, I chose to celebrate Spiritual Mothers on Mother’s Day, because there are so many of us, that just celebrating earth mothers wasn’t enough. Yet, on Father’s Day, I could tell by the energy that men just wanted to be in charge (or certain men wanted to be in charge). It was about those certain men, even though I came across many men who simply went about their day and did their good in the quiet ways. That made it easier for me. Now, that Father’s Day has passed, I thought we would get into the meat and potatoes of what needed to be said, and said by women, so that the village of men can help each other up and into better spaces.

Three Types of Men

As promised, I told you that we would talk important topics for the “A Better Man” teaching. We would talk about Christ, the men who killed Christ, the men who didn’t, and the man Christ was. Those were three different type of men, yet as a man, men can fall into blended categories. Some of those men represented what we know today as toxic masculinity. Some of those men represent what we know today as feminist men. Then, one man was known to be more specifically to be a sacrificial lamb, a martyr, and the receiver of great pain. He could also been known as the Feminist man. As we talk about Father’s Day, we should talk about these men because they are helpful to us in understanding God’s story.

The Toxic Masculine Men: These are the men who tend to express their feelings in actions, in voice, and in mannerisms that lend toward harm and violence. There is not a considerable amount of self awareness, deep consciousness, or deep moral code. It is clear in Christ’s story that these toxic men are quite capable of killing a brother maliciously, painfully, and without remorse. These men tend to put their ego before God, their harsh feelings in connection to their bodily actions and voice, and their rationale in choice making is not reflective of truly understanding the consequences of their actions, God’s way, or the ability to make redemptive choices. These men can also be men who have conscious thought but are deeply committed to or submissive to cult behaviors or those who don’t do enough work with facts before committing irreversible actions, ie. the killing of Christ.

The Feminist Men: These are the men who worked to save Christ, tried to support Christ’s way, those who lived by the way of God and Christ’s teachings, those who committed, those who tend toward nonviolence, those who listen, those who struggle, those who are self aware, those who have committed to spiritual evolution, those who seek change for the better. Their actions and voice are conscious, rational, considerate, connective, committed, primarily non-violent, discerning, collaborative, towards the greater good, and benefiting. Their actions work toward saving a brother, saving people, or working in purpose toward higher causes, outcomes, and transformation. You can tell by the work of Christ’s disciples and closest friends (both male and female in this case) that feminism was an act of God, of Christ, and of being in communion.

The Sacrificial Men: Most notably, in Christ’s case, he was considered a sacrificial lamb for humanity’s greater good. He was sent to teach an important lesson to humanity and this dominant toxic masculine culture that lived during Christ’s time and currently. Sacrificial men tend to be those who receive the brunt of the pain and consequence for actions that could be out of their control. For instance, animals are sacrificed without being chosen for it or having committed an act to deserve it, and in the case of Christ and his disciples, many were considered to be sacrificial due to the culture and ways of the time. Terrorism (in any form) is an example of this as well when people are chosen to be killed who would not chose it for themselves. In Christ’s case, he was more outspoken, more confident in his God’s purpose, he was clear as to who he was, and because of it, he was chosen to be killed, not because he deserved it but because the culture to understand him and his purpose was not conscious, intelligent, or discerning enough to prevent his killing. This was food for the toxic masculine culture. Toxic masculinity can be in both men and women, but the essence in Christ’s time was expressed through a brutal, vengeful, horrific killing. Christ did not chose to be sacrificed. The toxic male culture of the time was so far away from God that Christ had to live that choice.

Understanding A Man

So, as we work through Father’s Day and understand the nature of fatherhood, what it means to be a man (whether you are a father or not), there is some relationship to yourself in one or all of these categories. You may not want to admit you fit in one category or another, but in reality, the state of a man has to work with the culture of men. It has to confront toxic masculinity, because that is what killed Christ. In order to help men, you have to understand what men can be, good or bad. If you want to transcend a bad culture, you want to understand what makes up the culture. If you want to transform yourself as a man, you want to understand these capacities of living, acting, and evolving.

The state of man has to reckon with the culture of men. It has to confront toxic masculinity, because this is what killed Christ.

Then, what about God? As many of you know, I am not patriarchal in approach because it’s very clear from Genesis in the bible that we don’t have to be. That approach was man made, not God made. Men and women are equal and made in God’s design uniquely and equal in regard. So, we know that God is both male and female, masculine and feminine. You can barely start reading the bible without seeing these references. To understand the capacity of men, we also have to understand the mistakes of interpretation of the bible which has created these men.

If you want to understand how to be a man or a father, it’s good to understand the God who made you because it wasn’t just a man who made you.

It wasn’t just a father who made all of this that we call life. It is impossible to understand yourself fully as a man until you understand how fully God made you, both God the Mother and Father.

Something big conceived you.

When you feel the gap between who you are and who you want to be or could be, it’s a matter of considering the distance between you and God.

God is love, and that is pretty clear in the bible, so it becomes more clear that to understand how to be a man, it’s important to understand how to love.

It’s not just something women do, or that men do in a closet somewhere.

God didn’t love in a closet.

God doesn’t have trouble expressing emotions.

God isn’t afraid to talk to you.

God isn’t afraid to hug you, carry you, help you, support you, or help fix something that is broken.

God isn’t afraid.

God doesn’t have complexes, male ego, or toxic masculinity.

God is.

So, the difference between who you are as a man and who God made you to be as a man is the distance between you and God.

Let me say that again. The difference between who you are as a man and who God made you to be as a man is the distance between you and God.

All the rest is something else. Some other excuse.

So, as we leave Father’s Day, “A Better Man” is waiting. He is capable, he has choices, he can do it better, and the distance between him and God is only waiting for your next step closer.

Take that step.


In Christ,



"Fear Is A Liar" by Zach Williams, also adapted by Becky Kelley (and orchestra)

"Better Man" by Taylor Swift, adapted by Little Big Town


©2012-2020 by Essence Health and Research / Project Thrive.

Please ask permission to use any original material from this website at jennifer@essencehealthandresearch.com.

Original photography (opening lotus photo) by Jennifer Coomes

Photography of Jennifer Coomes by Yuen Lui.

Website created with Wix.com, personalized by Jennifer Coomes